Doggone Puzzle!

What am I missing?

I love my wife very much. I like giving her back rubs, massaging her feet, cuddling and kissing her. In return she does the same --- to her dog, "Barkley."

Barkley is the only one who benefits from her affections. The dog does nothing for me except allow me to pick up his droppings. What am I missing?

----------------------Anonymous from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

San Jose Mercury News, 26th February, 2010 (SV Life)

What's that again?

Family Circus

(by Bil Keane, The Dallas Morning News, February 10, 2010)

Cartooon Depicts:

A small boy, obviously very inquisitive boy, is looking into the photo album. He is going through the collection of photographs taken when he was a baby.

At some point of time, perhaps, something strikes him and he calls out, "Mommy, how old was I when I decided to be borned?"

Dennis The Menace

A Smile!

(by Hank Ketcham, The Dallas Morning News, February 10, 2010)

Mr. Wilson and Dennis are in a super market. Mr. Wilson is trying to buy hats. So he is standing in front of a large mirror and trying out different brands and sizes of hat.

Dennis is watching him with curiosity and is wondering at Mr. Wilson as he is not able to select a hat that fits him.

Dennis quips: " You should wear a smile, Mr. Wilson.....one size fits all!!

Accident, Great Loss or Tragedy?

Accidentally I came across this story in a blog!

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton."That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams."Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

Niagara!

Niagara - Past, Present and the Future!

(A response to a blog)

Oh! Niagara!
Whither thee the original Niagara?

Nature sculptured, Oh! Niagara!
Men and machines changed your curves

And detuned your roar!

Where were you Niagara! Where?
Was it not painful
When men cut tunnels around you,
Took away waters to those machines

Which churned power out of your magnanimity
To feed those in Buffalo city!

The Buffalo rejoiced!
But Oh! Niagara! You went quarter of what you were!

Yet, you never lost the majesty!
The enchanting beauty!
Drew visitors aplenty,
Remained a distant dream to me and that's the pity!

Keep roaring Oh!Niagara!
Keep roaring!
Keep that wonderful rainbow!
Keep it for thousands to enjoy!

One day, Oh! Niagara!
When I make it to your sanctum,
I shall stand still to listen
To your roar, I shall stand still to watch your beauty,
I shall stand still to feel your strength
I shall, perhaps stand still, till the last droplet fall over thee!

Laughter, the best Medicine!

Dennis the Menace

By Hank Ketcham

Read on page, Comics and Puzzles, The Dallas Morning News, February 1, 2010

Dennis, as usual, walking along with his friend and class mate, probably after the classes.

He to his friend, " Teacher says I make recess the best part of her day."